Smile please… help

Hey guys and gals. It’s been a little while since I wrote. I probably have a lot to catch up on, but for now if you can… please help.

So as many of you know if you follow my blog posts, I just want my smile back (teeth fixed). My health is taking a crappy turn because of it. My head is pounding, my level of pain is at a 9 (10 is dying). I can’t do this anymore. This pain is agonizing. I’m not looking for a hand out, I’m looking for a hand up.

If you know of any Dental contest (smile makeovers), Mother’s Day smile makeovers, dentists even in other states that help people out please send me their information.

Texas doesn’t have grants for dental work, colleges have a wait list as well as many visits before they can even attempt work. Our “low cost” dental clinics won’t or can’t help people with teeth in my condition. I don’t have 5,000 or more to put down, however I can pay monthly. I just need help. A name of someone you know who can help people like me. Yes I’m desperate. I’m to the point where dying would be much better than what I’m going through.

I’m a mom to four amazing kids and married to a wonderful guy. These guys are my world, so you can imagine I want to be here for a long time.

If you know someone who can help or if you can help but you need proof about my situation and the condition of my mouth I’ll send it to you. I don’t care where the dentist is located within the United States. I will drive there. I’ll sleep in my car. I’ll make it happen. I just want and need the pain gone. I want to smile and laugh again. I want to move and talk. I want to be confident. I just need help and yes I’m pleading.

My mouth isn’t just a simple pull a tooth or four; every single tooth has to come out. They are all shot beyond repair. Rotting away, my gums are receding…it’s bad. I would love all on 4s as it helps to keep the shape of my face as I’ve already lost so much of it. As a 36 year old, I’ve aged.

Please help me if you can.

~The girl who really wants to feel better and smile again.


It’s been a while…

I haven’t wrote in forever. I guess life has been a little crazy.

So first I still haven’t won a Dental contest. I’m hopeful though and not giving up. I want and need this more than anything. I just want to laugh, smile and love myself again. Here’s to hoping 2018 will be my year.

I wrecked my car not once but twice. The first time was my fault. I rear ended someone driving a red camaro. I scratched their bumper but hurt my car more. My wonderful mechanic of a husband fixed my car and she looked great again. That same day (6pm) I was in another accident. This time a blue camaro ran a red light and well my car wouldn’t drive away. They (blue camaro) did a hit and run and their car was totaled as all air bags deployed. He came back to the scene an hour later and all info he provided on the police report was fake/wrong and the car and insurance wasn’t his. So my insurance had to cover whatever happens. So 👎🏻 to this but my daughter and I are okay so right now that’s what matters most. Just got the call that my car is totaled! 😭 It’s a sad day. I loved that car.

My oldest son Cam has been kicking ass at powerlifting. He’s been digging deeper every single time and his weight/goals are outstanding. I couldn’t be more proud. Also he earned a spot in regionals 💪🏻. #keepgoing

My dad had a triple bypass yesterday. He has a long road ahead of him. His first night was really rough, but the nurse this morning said he was doing better. So we will just take this one day by day and see what happens. Keep him in your thoughts.

My other kids are doing fabulous. My youngest daughter wants to do gymnastics so I’m looking into that. My oldest daughter starts softball on Monday and my other son starts track. So powerlifting, softball, possible t-ball or gymnastics and of course track with a chance of soccer thrown in. Sports mom at its finest, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh and my husband went on his own and started his own business which has been doing amazingly well. Thank you universe.

We’ve been doing pretty good this year, besides the few boulders that have been thrown in during he month of February. 🖤

I need help…

Holy shit the pain I’m feeling because of my teeth right now is excruciating. I’ve entered a ton of contests yet again and nothing. I am dying in this pain. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. No matter how much medicine I take, it doesn’t stop. Ibuprofen used to help but now it doesn’t. Tylenol 3 isn’t even touching it. The pain is shooting to my head and it hurts so bad.

I just want to win a contest or find a bad ass dentist that will accept payments. I’m not looking for a handout, but a hand up. I just need one person to care enough to help. The free clinics here can’t help because my teeth are to bad. The ones that are low cost still aren’t low enough. Texas doesn’t take or participate in dental grants. I’ve tried a million times.

Sadly I know that as much as I want all of these rotten teeth ripped out of my mouth and some other option put in there place, it won’t happen except by some miracle. But damn do I need a miracle. My teeth will be the death of me and it’s sad as hell. The tears keep falling and the pain never stops.

For fucks sake it just needs to end…



I had hope. A slight glimmer of light that this would be my year. That I would be one of the lucky ones chosen. As I read the rules I thought I read far enough, come to find out I didn’t and I live to far away. I had so many people vote for me they had to call and see where I live. **Note to self: Don’t get to excited before reading all of the eligibility rules, there’s always more to it. 

The 😬 I hoped to win this year and have completed by next is a bust. I guess I shouldn’t give up, but I’ve currently ran out of trying. It hurts so much. All I want is to smile again. A big cheesy beautiful smile people could see from a mile away. One where I can laugh freely, talk freely, smile freely and one that consists of being pain free. One where I would love myself again, the tears would stop, the overflow of abundance would fill my life. People dream of fancy cars, houses and toys and all I want is a new smile. I’ve entered more contests than I can even keep up with in a single year and every year, I’m not the lucky one. I assume it’s a game of chance, I assume it’s not needing to much work done and I assume it just has to be my time. 

I don’t want to be sad, but I’d lying if I said I wasn’t. Disappointed, frustrated, heart broken, and depressed. One day, I’ll smile again. 

Maybe one day… but for now I’m just going to ride out the rest of the year. 

If you live in North or South Carolina and need your teeth fixed, Bozart Family Dentistry is running a holiday smile makeover contest. You should go enter or enter someone you know who truly deserves to smile again. Here’s the link: 


Trying to stand tall 

Sometimes all we need is a new perspective. 🖤

Life has been crazy lately. It’s hard not to stay in bed and hope the problems disappear. It’s hard to push depression away. But then there is happiness and you find the moments that make it all worth it. 

A co-worker of my husbands was killed. He was a tow truck driver and on a call on the side of the highway, well a mini van a woman was driving decided to still drive 75 miles an hour and she hit him and he died. I’ll spare the details as I can barely stand to think of them. He was a great man and he will always be remembered. He left a family behind, but everyone is taking care of them. 

My first week back at school went pretty good. I’m shooting to get my GPA back up, I need to apply for a few scholarships and hope I can get a few of them in my favor. So far my classes are going great and I’m really enjoying them. It’s nice to be on a different path. 

Mother’s Day was good. I spent the whole weekend with my kids and I got to spend Sunday with my husband as well. He works a ton so it’s hard to see him. We also went and had a family breakfast which was okay. I was frustrated because the place charged more money because of the holiday and yet couldn’t keep up with food. 

I woke up with an abscess today. This time it’s on the top part of my mouth and putting crazy pressure on my face. My lip, nose and cheeks are swollen and the head pain is crazy. I’m on an antibiotic again as there’s not much else to do. The dentist I started going to is booked up, so I settled at seeing a new one just to get meds that way I wouldn’t have to be hospitalized by morning. I’ll admit though I’m scared shitless. I don’t want to die. I have to much to live for. My kids and my husband are my world. I want to live. I don’t know how to fix my mouth though without the funds to do so. I found another dental contest to enter but like all of the other ones it’s a waiting game and usually my mouth is more than most want to handle. Ive spent all day searching for other contests, dental offices that accept payment plans or someone willing to help, but as usual I come up empty handed. It’s hard not to give up as I know the cost of fixing my mouth is much more than I can even come up with. The things that keep me holding on are my kids, I want to watch them grow up and achieve all of their dreams and growing old with my husband is something I want more than anything. So I’m hoping for a miracle or something that says my health will get better and it will be alright again. 

✌🏻 I’ll be back to write again soon. It felt good to get my thoughts out there. Oh and I need to start writing again, I miss it. I have been reading quite a bit which is great. 


Just tired…

I’ve been doing pretty good lately. Kinda bummed out today though. I entered another dental contest and out of those who entered they’d pick the top 10 and let people vote, of course I didn’t even make it to that point though. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never win one of these contests. After watching all the videos all of these people who entered had teeth. Some had dentures they just needed repaired or were hoping for implants, while the others were looking to get braces. 

My case is much more severe than needing braces or dentures fixed. Every single one of my remaining teeth need pulled. The pain over the last 3 weeks has been extreme. I’ve went through so many bottles of ibuprofen and I just started adding Tylenol to hopefully get a little relief. My teeth look so much different than they did even a month ago. 

I’m not being selfish but damn it, I want the pain to go away, I want to smile and laugh again, I want to eat food and talk to people. I want to get a job where people won’t stare at me. I just want to be normal. I just want this for me. It would change my life so much and yet I can’t even catch a break. Every single time I enter a contest I always tell myself I won’t let it get to me if I don’t get picked, but every single time I do. Depression and tears swallow me up. I don’t want to die because of my teeth. I just want to live. Hoping for a miracle so I can save my life and be here for my husband and kids.