Deciding…

It’s been forever since I wrote…sorry about that. I started college again in May. I picked a new degree plan and half way through, I realized it wasn’t something I was in love with. I switched back to my BA in creative writing/English with a concentration in Fiction. So in two years I’ll have this degree. It seems so far away, but it will be worth it. I have my associates as well. It’s nice to see the things I have been working on for far to many years to count fall into place. 

So I was accepted into the honor society for my school. Does anyone know if it’s worth it college wise? The perks seem great: scholarship opportunities, networking, discounts,etc. I have about a week left to make my decision. 

I’ve been trying to get out of the frump I tend to find myself in which involves; depression, sadness, a numb feeling and sometimes it’s really hard to shake. I believe I’m doing okay so far, guess we will see what happens. Making new goals and fighting like hell to achieve them. We’re halfway through the year, so I gotta get moving. 

So tell me is honor society in college worth it? What are some goals you set for yourself this year? Have you crushed any or or all of them? Have you read any good books? Took an amazing trip? I’m sure you all have some kind of news to share with me. 

-Danna 

Growing up

It’s crazy to think how fast this school year has flown by. My kids have changed so much from the start to the end of it. They have all grown so much and I am so very proud of them. 

My youngest graduated kindergarten yesterday which was bitter sweet. I cried like crazy. She’s come so far and I can’t wait to watch her grow and excel. She received the best smile and class entertainer award. Her teacher helped her pick out what she wanted to be when she grew up and she chose a children’s book illustrator. When I asked her again tonight she said I really want to be a singer. That’s the girl I know. Proud of you baby girl. 

My 10!year old daughter will be moving on to 5th grade. This has been a hard year for her with a boy harassing her and teachers/kids telling her she couldn’t do something. She proved every damn one of them wrong. She hit her goals and went well beyond them. She earned A honor roll, AR gold award, AR class award, UIL award, best attitude in music and hit over the 100 point club as well as her shirt for all of her reading accomplishments. She’s already planning for next year. Proud of you princess. Keep reaching for the moon and no one will stop you. 

My boys will be going to 7th grade and the other will be a junior. My 7th grader was selected for NJHS and was shy one grade of A honor roll. He will be playing middle school sports this year which is amazing. I’m super proud of him and all of his accomplishments this year. Can’t wait to see what the new year has to offer. My oldest is doing great. His grades looked good. He did have to take two finals though which is okay. He will play a ton of sports this year as well and the classes he selected for next year will put a crazy course load on him, but I know he can do it. These boys are tackling anything that comes at them head on and I couldn’t be more proud of them. 

So what grades are your kids going to? Will they be playing any sports? Any AP classes? Did they get any awards this year? Tell me all about them. What are you looking forward to this year coming up? 

Any summer plans? 

Trying to stand tall 

Sometimes all we need is a new perspective. 🖤


Life has been crazy lately. It’s hard not to stay in bed and hope the problems disappear. It’s hard to push depression away. But then there is happiness and you find the moments that make it all worth it. 

A co-worker of my husbands was killed. He was a tow truck driver and on a call on the side of the highway, well a mini van a woman was driving decided to still drive 75 miles an hour and she hit him and he died. I’ll spare the details as I can barely stand to think of them. He was a great man and he will always be remembered. He left a family behind, but everyone is taking care of them. 

My first week back at school went pretty good. I’m shooting to get my GPA back up, I need to apply for a few scholarships and hope I can get a few of them in my favor. So far my classes are going great and I’m really enjoying them. It’s nice to be on a different path. 

Mother’s Day was good. I spent the whole weekend with my kids and I got to spend Sunday with my husband as well. He works a ton so it’s hard to see him. We also went and had a family breakfast which was okay. I was frustrated because the place charged more money because of the holiday and yet couldn’t keep up with food. 

I woke up with an abscess today. This time it’s on the top part of my mouth and putting crazy pressure on my face. My lip, nose and cheeks are swollen and the head pain is crazy. I’m on an antibiotic again as there’s not much else to do. The dentist I started going to is booked up, so I settled at seeing a new one just to get meds that way I wouldn’t have to be hospitalized by morning. I’ll admit though I’m scared shitless. I don’t want to die. I have to much to live for. My kids and my husband are my world. I want to live. I don’t know how to fix my mouth though without the funds to do so. I found another dental contest to enter but like all of the other ones it’s a waiting game and usually my mouth is more than most want to handle. Ive spent all day searching for other contests, dental offices that accept payment plans or someone willing to help, but as usual I come up empty handed. It’s hard not to give up as I know the cost of fixing my mouth is much more than I can even come up with. The things that keep me holding on are my kids, I want to watch them grow up and achieve all of their dreams and growing old with my husband is something I want more than anything. So I’m hoping for a miracle or something that says my health will get better and it will be alright again. 

✌🏻 I’ll be back to write again soon. It felt good to get my thoughts out there. Oh and I need to start writing again, I miss it. I have been reading quite a bit which is great. 

Just tired…

I’ve been doing pretty good lately. Kinda bummed out today though. I entered another dental contest and out of those who entered they’d pick the top 10 and let people vote, of course I didn’t even make it to that point though. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never win one of these contests. After watching all the videos all of these people who entered had teeth. Some had dentures they just needed repaired or were hoping for implants, while the others were looking to get braces. 

My case is much more severe than needing braces or dentures fixed. Every single one of my remaining teeth need pulled. The pain over the last 3 weeks has been extreme. I’ve went through so many bottles of ibuprofen and I just started adding Tylenol to hopefully get a little relief. My teeth look so much different than they did even a month ago. 

I’m not being selfish but damn it, I want the pain to go away, I want to smile and laugh again, I want to eat food and talk to people. I want to get a job where people won’t stare at me. I just want to be normal. I just want this for me. It would change my life so much and yet I can’t even catch a break. Every single time I enter a contest I always tell myself I won’t let it get to me if I don’t get picked, but every single time I do. Depression and tears swallow me up. I don’t want to die because of my teeth. I just want to live. Hoping for a miracle so I can save my life and be here for my husband and kids. 

~SOMEDAY~

How did you know???

How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life? Did you know since you were a kid? Did you find the love for it in high school, college or beyond? 

As I sit here, I really wonder what I’m supposed to do with my life. I mean here I am at 35 still trying to figure it all out. I’ve been in numerous colleges follow career paths that ultimately led me no where. I’ve spent the last two years in school going for my Bachelors degree in English with a concentration in writing and I stopped. I earned enough credits and then some to walk away with my Liberal arts degree (associates). It’s nothing fancy but at least this time, I got a degree. There were tons and tons of essays and it took my love for writing and made it into something I hated. 

So here I am at a loss for what to do. I work part time doing billing in an office which is great, but there has to be more right?

🌴I like to read, and write although I draw a blank when I try to do anything seriously. There’s a block there and I’m not sure why. 🌴Photography is okay. I own a camera but haven’t really did anything exciting with it. ❌I’m not crafty at all. No sewing, no knitting or crotchet, no t-shirt making or tutus. 

I do want to own a coffee shop & bookstore but that’s not in the cards anytime soon. 

So how did you know what you wanted to do? I want a career that makes me happy, one that I don’t need escaping from. I’m super lost and just looking for a little insight. 

What do you do for a living? And why do you love it? 

Thoughts.. talk to me

Starting out 2017 with a goal I’ve had for a few years now.

Hello everyone~

It’s 2017. A year for fresh starts, new beginnings and those so called resolutions we strive for every year. I’m sure most of us make it the first month and we fall off track shortly after that. It doesn’t mean you or me are failures, it means we need to dig a little deeper and find our inner strength to pull us through. But do we really need resolutions? I mean we should strive for better all year. Exercise more, quit smoking, find a better job, get rid of the toxic people and attitudes that weight us down, lose weight, plan more,etc. The list goes on and on. I do have “resolutions” so to speak, but I would rather call them game changers. I spent last year extremely depressed. I let things from my childhood, my past and my present swallow me whole. I was consumed by darkness and I barely saw any light to keep me from drowning. My life at home is great. I have four amazing kids, and a husband who works his ass off to make sure every one of us is taken care of. The bills are on his plate as well. He worked a full-time job as a mechanic Monday thru Friday and everyday including the weekend he would pull in side work to bring in more money. He would also find time to attend the kids sporting events as well. We chose to change jobs for him before the 2016 year was up and boy its still scary as hell. He left a job that became stagnant with the same pay and same crap with an added title, to a new job and he smiles so much more. So back to me. I tend to hold on to things way to much. This year my goal is to change that. I started using a planner which has been great so far. I write all of my to-dos, want to dos and what has to be done. Motivational quotes, pictures, and any goals I have for the year.  I re-did my dream board which had been the same for a few years. Some things I left alone, because I still want or need to do them. I think the dream board brings what you want to life. It gives you a vision you can always see which gives you that motivation to work that much harder. My mind tends to run a thousand miles an hour and still tries to go when I lay down for bed. It’s usually the bad thoughts that get me off track. I’ve been doing okay so far though and my mind and body seem to be in a great place. I’ve always struggled with letting go. I hold on to everything. It could have happened 15 years ago and I will still talk about it. I don’t need or want that kind of behavior surrounding my life. How do you handle depression? Any advice to give me? How did you learn to let go? Also if there’s something you really want, but can’t have it because the cost is to extreme how do you not let that eat you up as well? I’m NOT talking about a new house, a new car, needing a new wardrobe, or shoes, or a fancy vacation (although that would be great.) I’ll take a trip to the beach please! I should add my nanny passed away in March and it gets to me all the time. I didn’t get to drive to see her before she passed. She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and it took her quickly. I MISS her so much.

My teeth are my downfall. Yeah, I know that’s nasty. I’ve had problems since I was 19 (after my first kid) and now many years later my teeth have deteriorated. I don’t look in the mirror and like what I see. I’m rather disgusted with myself. I cry a ton and slip into a depression when I think about it or if I’m randomly eating a soft food I can handle and one of my teeth will break. I avoid talking to people. I’ve mastered speaking with my head down, covering my mouth or I might not respond at all. People say they never notice, but come on I know YOU notice. The smile is one of the first things we see. I am jealous over so many peoples smiles, straight teeth, the laughter they share, and the photos they’re able to take. I rarely photos and if I do you won’t see my teeth. I’ve been entering dental contests for over four years now and still no luck. One that just ended was the closest I had been. I was a candidate in the top 10, but the others nor myself got picked because we didn’t have the “marketing” experience to back their brand. I guess that’s understandable, but when you give someone like me something I’ve wanted for so long…I can guarantee your brand will be bragged on to every person I know. It didn’t happen though. 2017 is a new year with new possibilities so I’m hoping that this will be my year even if it takes me till the end of it to save up. And if you’re wondering, no none of my teeth can be saved. Several are missing, broken, or have been pulled. I’ve wrote to people like “The Doctors” and “Ellen” in hopes of someone helping me. It’s on me though. I will have my smile one day and I’ll be sure to post it here first. ***If you want to know Dr. Golpa offers an all on four implant. I want this so bad. They have a special right now, which I guess really isn’t a special when you barely make the price tag a year. In a few months the cost rises which stinks. Maybe I’ll win the lottery or find another solution that will look just a good. If you read this far…Yay!

So tell me what do you plan on doing differently this year? What or who is your motivation? What plan do you have in place to make it happen? If there is one thing you could have in life what would it be? Mine is a new smile. So tell me about you if you want. Lend me advice or just vent. I’m open to anything… -Danna