Holy shit the pain I’m feeling because of my teeth right now is excruciating. I’ve entered a ton of contests yet again and nothing. I am dying in this pain. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. No matter how much medicine I take, it doesn’t stop. Ibuprofen used to help but now it doesn’t. Tylenol 3 isn’t even touching it. The pain is shooting to my head and it hurts so bad.
I just want to win a contest or find a bad ass dentist that will accept payments. I’m not looking for a handout, but a hand up. I just need one person to care enough to help. The free clinics here can’t help because my teeth are to bad. The ones that are low cost still aren’t low enough. Texas doesn’t take or participate in dental grants. I’ve tried a million times.
Sadly I know that as much as I want all of these rotten teeth ripped out of my mouth and some other option put in there place, it won’t happen except by some miracle. But damn do I need a miracle. My teeth will be the death of me and it’s sad as hell. The tears keep falling and the pain never stops.
For fucks sake it just needs to end…
Sometimes all we need is a new perspective. 🖤
Life has been crazy lately. It’s hard not to stay in bed and hope the problems disappear. It’s hard to push depression away. But then there is happiness and you find the moments that make it all worth it.
A co-worker of my husbands was killed. He was a tow truck driver and on a call on the side of the highway, well a mini van a woman was driving decided to still drive 75 miles an hour and she hit him and he died. I’ll spare the details as I can barely stand to think of them. He was a great man and he will always be remembered. He left a family behind, but everyone is taking care of them.
My first week back at school went pretty good. I’m shooting to get my GPA back up, I need to apply for a few scholarships and hope I can get a few of them in my favor. So far my classes are going great and I’m really enjoying them. It’s nice to be on a different path.
Mother’s Day was good. I spent the whole weekend with my kids and I got to spend Sunday with my husband as well. He works a ton so it’s hard to see him. We also went and had a family breakfast which was okay. I was frustrated because the place charged more money because of the holiday and yet couldn’t keep up with food.
I woke up with an abscess today. This time it’s on the top part of my mouth and putting crazy pressure on my face. My lip, nose and cheeks are swollen and the head pain is crazy. I’m on an antibiotic again as there’s not much else to do. The dentist I started going to is booked up, so I settled at seeing a new one just to get meds that way I wouldn’t have to be hospitalized by morning. I’ll admit though I’m scared shitless. I don’t want to die. I have to much to live for. My kids and my husband are my world. I want to live. I don’t know how to fix my mouth though without the funds to do so. I found another dental contest to enter but like all of the other ones it’s a waiting game and usually my mouth is more than most want to handle. Ive spent all day searching for other contests, dental offices that accept payment plans or someone willing to help, but as usual I come up empty handed. It’s hard not to give up as I know the cost of fixing my mouth is much more than I can even come up with. The things that keep me holding on are my kids, I want to watch them grow up and achieve all of their dreams and growing old with my husband is something I want more than anything. So I’m hoping for a miracle or something that says my health will get better and it will be alright again.
✌🏻 I’ll be back to write again soon. It felt good to get my thoughts out there. Oh and I need to start writing again, I miss it. I have been reading quite a bit which is great.